Good Times

Marriage Counseling

11 Comments 18 July 2011

Casey and I spent last week in an intense, 24-hours-a-day, life changing marriage counseling session last week and it was tough!! We struggled, we fought, we laughed, we learned new things about each other, and we firmly positioned our marriage on solid ground for the foreseeable future. Thanks to a few (or five) little changes in our lives, it has been nearly 5 years since we had submitted ourselves to such a grueling effort and it was long overdue. We needed a refresher, a kick in the seat, a jump start, and a reminder of just how important our relationship is to our lives and to our family’s health and if you haven’t done the same for your own marriage and family in awhile, I highly recommend that you do.

Alright so maybe I’m not being entirely forthcoming here. What we actually did was go on vacation…just the two of us…NO KIDS ALLOWED!! Taking nothing away from marriage counselors and those who have sat in their chairs hoping to repair, revive, and restore their relationships, I must say that a couples-only trip to somewhere, anywhere actually, can go a long way to achieving the same goals…….

Our chosen destination was Cabo San Lucas on the southern tip of Mexico’s Baja Peninsula, the last strip of land that separates the Pacific Ocean and the Sea of Cortes. We’ve been to Mexico a few times and absolutely loved it – the culture, the beaches, the diving, the people – everything about a Mexican beach vacation is incredible! But we have never been to Cabo, the most Americanized Mexican resort town, so we were a little wary of what we might find when we arrived. And I am happy to say that other than some overzealous timeshare/transportation providers at the airport who wanted us to defy the laws of economics, physics, and humanity in order to get to our resort, Cabo did not disappoint in any way!

We spent a day on an excursion to the famous arch and another day 60 feet underwater doing an open-water dive; we spent another day doing a whole lot of nothing and another on a fishing boat in the Pacific surrounded by porpoises as far as the eye could see. We went to the market, we went to the beach, and we went to the pool. We dined at the resort and we made our way to a few cantinas for some local flavor. I got pummeled by the massive waves, filling my shorts and my lungs with sand and saltwater, and I got stung by a jellyfish I never saw (on the face!), but neither fazed me a bit because the beaches were too grand, the sky was too clear, and the lady by my side was far too amazing!!!

All-in-all we just took the time to focus on each other without all of the distractions and responsibilities that all of you parents out there know all too well. It was fun, it was relaxing, it was refreshing and revitalizing, but most of all it was vitally necessary! All kidding about marriage counseling aside, I have to say that if you haven’t done something like this lately with your mate, you need to stop reading these words right now and start planning your getaway immediately!!

We have heard from so many people (most with far fewer children I might add) who say that they have never taken a parents-only vacation since their kids were born or that they can’t even find time for a date night or some other sort of thing like that. WHAT?!! Are you kidding me?? Sorry to be so blunt, but if you care about your marriage and you care about your kids then YOU MUST DO THIS!! Casey and I firmly believe that our marriage is the foundation on which this family survives and just as the foundation of any structure needs maintenance and occasional repair so does your marriage. And if you do not take the time to maintain your marriage then what are you teaching your kids about its importance? And what will be left of it when the kids are grown and gone??

Alright, I’ll get off of my soapbox now. And please don’t get me wrong – if you are one of those who hasn’t taken the time for a parents getaway, I’m not coming down on you. I know, it’s hard…it’s hard to plan, it’s hard to find the time and the money, it’s hard to be gone from the kids, and it’s hard to get things back in order when you get back. And it’s an easy thing to put aside when the daily demands of life deny you the right to relax…especially when your life is like ours – driven in the fast lane, your hands on the wheel of a car packed full of kids!! We just believe strongly that the marriage relationship has to be the first priority if any family is going to survive and thrive in this dastardly, devious, world of ours which is too often anti-marriage and anti-family. So in the words of Nike, the goddess of tennis shoes and other athletic apparel, “Just do it!”

Wait, one more thing…I can’t get out of here without a HUGE, GINORMOUS thank you to Nana, Summer, and Angel, Grandma, Grandpa, and all of the volunteers who chipped in to take care of the Six Pack while we were away!! We cannot thank you all enough for your love and support of our family!!

God bless,


Your Comments

11 Comments so far

  1. Klin says:

    As a mental health therapist I whole heartedly endorse your admonition in this blog post.
    It is hard to leave kids, but the best thing you can do is take care of your relationship and yourselves. If you give and give until you’ve nothing left to give, what do you give your children and each other? Half of you? A fourth of you?

    I love how refreshed your writing is. I love how you celebrate your marriage. I totally love the title. So very appropriate.

    Welcome home, Jones parents. Welcome home. (Please say that in Ty’s voice)

  2. Pam says:

    Ethan & Casey
    Thank you for sharing your vacation with us all. After seeing your pics on Facebook a few days ago I thought what an amazing place and I WANT TO GO. Well WE ARE, one week from today (July 24-31) my best friend Lori, who just found out she has cancer, we are going to HAVE FUN!! We are staying next door to where you did (RIU Sante Fe, not the Palace, little cheaper just as beautiful).
    Life is too short and like you said, “JUST DO IT”. So we are.

    Thanks again, and God Bless you & your Family.

    Pam T

  3. Jamisyn says:

    If only everyone had the funds to take these breaks – or even get counseling. I suggest talking regularly, not keeping things to yourself, and letting the small things go. Get out even if it is to In N Out or for a nice long walk. You don’t need an extravagant trip to reconnect. :)

  4. Linda M. says:

    Glad you had a good time and that you took time for each other. You are absolutely, 100% correct in focusing on your marriage and counting it the foundation of all that your children will see in the future. If you don’t focus on your marriage when they’re three, what will they see when they’re seven? A couple arguing, angry and about to storm the citadel in order to get out of the marriage fast enough, that’s what. Good job, Ethan and Casey. Good for you and your babies.

    BTW, not a bad bod, there bucko. How do you two do it?

  5. Shannon N-M. says:

    What an awesome, and Biblical example you two are to Eliot and those “twinkuplets” (as my daughter calls them). You showed them that Mommy and Daddy love each other so much, you sacrificed and made a way to have some real time together. And I know it was good for them to see they were fine in the process and could survive for a week without you guys just fine, and you came back. Kudos to you all for keeping things in perspective!

  6. Tori says:

    Sei and I have been talking about the same thing. Kids can wear a marriage out!! Haha So we will be heading to Hawaii in less than a year. So stoked!!
    Love the pics Ethan. :)

  7. dina says:

    where do you go for 24 hour counseling? Just curious.

  8. Susan says:

    I completely agree with you! My husband and I are expecting our 2nd child and we are planning just a weekend getaway to the beach soon close to home. That way we can take the time to focus on each other without the distraction of our beautiful son (21 months old) who is a HANDFUL! I think that it is very important for your marriage to have time together away from the kids.

  9. Tamyra says:

    Awesome! I am so glad you guys got away. My husband and I have only been out 3 times since our daughter was born 17 months ago. I’ve been asking him “Who are you” or “What is your name?” It’s hard for us to find people to help watch her, but we are working on it. I’m glad you had fun.

  10. kristine says:

    Is this show still running up to date….I really enjoyed it

  11. DORIS says:


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